Tea leaves thwart those who court catastrophe…

Dear Intolerable Ennui,

There’s nothing to do. Are we just going to sit here writing increasingly lame blogs to inanimate objects and abstract concepts? We need something, anything, more productive to waste our time with. Look at all those jigsaw puzzles up there on the top shelf of the closet. They’re just sitting there, collecting dust. We’re never going to try putting one together, are we? No, no, of course we won’t. If only, Intolerable Ennui, you weren’t such good friends with Abject Apathy and Crippling Depression, perhaps we could really do something worthwhile.

Sincerely,
Dave Vanachronism

I’m always wasting time, I suppose. No, I am implying that life is a waste of time. In some sense, it is. But then, the language there is warped. English, or any natural language, runs into lots of difficulties when talking about philosophy. Life and time are easy enough to define, but “waste” is far too subjective. Life is, perhaps, a consumer of time. So in some strange sense, everyone is just wasting time, due to its transitory nature. Life, that is. Life is transitory. But that’s obvious. Philosophy is good at restating the obvious into something more complex.

Not very deep, but an interesting thought. Is life necessarily a waste because it is transitory?

Life is transitory (given premise).
Transitory objects are “a waste” (controversial premise).
–
Therefore, life is a waste.

I think that would be a fair summary of philosophical nihilism.

Dear Dave,

You have perfected the art of medium-funny; that is, stating the obvious, the boring, the banal, the unimportant, and the uninteresting with a straight face, and insisting you are serious, you are not joking, you are honestly stating as such. And therein lies the “joke.” This is a unique brand of whimsical irony: the joke that is only funny to its teller. Somehow, you’ve parlayed this non-attempt at non-humor into a singular success that rivals, well, some obscure high-brow reference that, too, is serious. You’ve really stepped in shit, you lucky, lucky dog.

With this new blog however, you’ve seemingly 180ed; you now deliver boring, pretentious horseshit, but appear to be smiling while doing so. I suppose there may be some post-modern, self-aware, circular, meta, nonironic irony to be found in that unique situation. We’re not sure; that’s your game, after all. But ignoring your blogs is ours. So please… stop posting!

Sincerely,
All your friends (and lurkers)

~ by davenewworld on June 30, 2008.