We don’t need roads…
Last post before the New Year. Albeit premature, fundamental nonetheless. Vital. Impervious. Insidious. Magical manifestations of mindlessness. Hi!
Another year-who knew it would get here so soon? In some ways the longest year of my life, in other ways, astonishingly short. Ohhhh, but I am SO much wiser. The amount of knowledge acquired between the immature and oafish 2008 and the glorious year-of-the-dave, magnificent 2009…well…ginormous barely begins to cover it.
Here’s what I learned, in a very edited list (ps, I’m making this up as I go along…but am feeling quite loqacious tonight, so this is my mental note to try and keep it brief):
Just because someone seems like a friend, it doesn’t mean they are. I learned last year that though I have throughout my life played the victim in shitty friendships-’he/she was a bad person…la la la’-by my silence, I make it OK for people to use me. I am an active participant in the people I choose to spend my time with and energy on. I learned that you must constantly evaluate the friends in your life. If you are more often than not feeling unappreciated and under-loved, something has to change. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck…well…exactly. I will be a million times better off ending a poisonous relationship the minute I realized it is lethal, then wait for a slow death. Nip that shit in-the-bud. The worst that could happen is a few random prank phone calls. But I changed my number so no more of that troglodytical crap!
Good will prevail. Not always as swiftly as you want, or with as much fanfare as it deserves, but everyone eventually gets what’s coming to them. You reap what you sew, and karma’s a bitch. Nothing I hadn’t known before (apparently my learning curve has no bendy part).
I’m sure I am missing a prodigious amount of Dave-isms and year-in-review truths, don’t fret, loyal fans, I am certain to ponder all of this at a future date.
Will this year be different? Will 2009 hold the answers that 2008 failed to reveal? Will this new set of 12 perfectly un-lived and untainted months carry with them success, satisfaction, beauty and love-love-love? 52 weeks without emergency room visits? 365 days mixed with calm and frenzy-but only when you want the extremes? Will the time be endless ah-ha moments of self-improvement and awareness?. Will I learn more, give more and live more freely? Will sex feel better, movies be more spectacular and music be produced by the thousands that change-enrich-catapult our auditory senses into the seventh level of Heaven? Will food be only fresh and full of vitamin-y goodness, yet devilishly delicious? Will the winter be time for somber reflection and summer time for sun-filled spontaneous serendipity?
Whether the next 12 months, in hindsight, were the worst-and we chalk this year up to be forgotten in the archives of absolutely awful… who would want to know that in advance? That would make living it twice as bad, because the anticipation of dread means you would be going through some version of Hell twice. And if this year turns out to be the BEST FUCKING YEAR OF YOUR LIFE-the year that on your death bed you proclaim to the loved one holding your hand that ‘2009 was the most fantastically magnificent three hundred and sixty-five days of my whole existence’-who wants to know that on January 1st? That’s like finding out that one of your foes, dies a nasty poetic death and you’re not there to see it. Buzzkill.
I don’t live in a bubble, but sometimes, I set up shop there. If you want something to seem as good as it used to, you’ve gotta actually do the things that made it so great to begin with. Just cut to the chase. Oh, and add a chase. That you can cut to.
Regrets, bitterness, mistakes, empathy and apathy aside, Happy New Year.
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