Rebel I Am
IF I cared, I’d draw you a map of your ass with an X marking the spot where your head is buried.
Trust me, dear, I know depressed. Depressed sure has made an ass out of me, but it never split my face in two. That was a conscious decision on your part, whether either of you want to admit it or not. I have no sympathy for either of you.
Acknowledgement is a no-kidding, unvarnished, bottom-line, truthful confrontation with yourself about what you are doing or not doing, or what you are putting up with in your life that is destructive. It’s not some pious, phoney-baloney, half-hearted rendition of what you think they want to hear. Nor is it a watered-down, politically correct ‘confession’ that you think will buy you closure at the expense of truth. I mean brutal reality: slapping yourself in the face and admitting what you are doing to fuck up your life. This also means admitting that you are getting payoffs for what you’re doing, however sick or subtle those payoffs are.
Now let’s add the ingredient of feeling onesself innocent and yet punished. ‘I may have done something wrong, but it wasn’t THAT bad – surely I don’t deserve THIS.’ Isn’t that perfect? We even use our misdeeds to our own advantage. I’ve done something wrong but I turn it around so that I’m the victim and should be compensated. And Egocentricity is usually right there with suggestions that could make up for this ‘injustice’. After all, [the 'victim-mentality' believes] ‘Life owes me something’.
But why does everyone want a fucking medal and a gold star for doing what they SHOULD do? That earns you NOTHING, that is your OBLIGATION. So spare me the pat on your own back. It’s just as simple as wiping your ass after you shit, I’m not going to congratulate you for having decency and common sense.
Powerful and sneaky people use apologies as end runs around repentance. They betray a trust; and, when they have been found out, say they are sorry for ‘mistakes in judgment.’ They smile through their oily apologies when their crime calls for quakes of repentance. They get by only because we have lost our sense of the difference between repentance for wrong and apologies for bungling… We should not let each other get away with it. A deep and unfair hurt is not a mere faux pas… When somebody hurts us deeply and unfairly, an apology will not do the job; it only trivializes a wrong that should not be trifled with.
So fucking what if you’re willing to admit you’re wrong? Willing to admit it doesn’t buy you a “get foot out of mouth free” card. Every time I say something they find hard to hear, they chalk it up to my anger, and never to their own fear. I like my agression up front where I can see it and deal with it. I’m tired of the weak-minded passive-aggressive bullshit that people fling while claiming to be “non-confrontational”. Anyone who can’t confront/address issues head-on isn’t someone I care to spend much time in the company of.
People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent.
There is a tendency… today to explain human behavior, to remove purpose – motive – from serious consideration. We tend to accept the notion that mechanical, not purposive, causation accounts for the things people do. Joe Sinister is a criminal because his parents beat him or because of a chemical imbalance in his brain or because of a genetic disorder that removed the function we call conscience… These explanations of human behavior may be accurate… but the issue of accuracy is, in fact, quite irrelevant to human societies. A human community that uses mechanical causation to account for human behavior cannot survive, because it cannot hold its members accountable for their behavior. That is, no matter how you account for the origin of a human behavior, a community must continue to judge the perpetrator on the basis of his intent, as near as that intent can be understood (or guessed, or assumed). That is why parents inevitably ask their children the unanswerable question: Why did you do that? Terrible as that question is, it at least puts the responsibility back on the child’s head and forces the child to ask himself the question that society absolutely requires him to answer: Why do I do the things I do? And how, by changing my motives, can I change my behavior?… We must believe in motives for human behavior, or we cannot maintain community life.
I say, I don’t care if you want to act like a child — I’m going to treat you like an adult. Which means that your actions have adult consequences. Pouting and shouting will only make me leave not stay and hug and comfort for irrational and unacceptable behavior.
You are so terribly, miserably, thoroughly unhappy that if I pricked your finger you’d bleed a fucking raincloud. A hard life is not a blank check to be a thundercunt bitch.
My antagonistic meanspirited attitude is reserved for fuckwits who desperately try to rationalize or otherwise defend what is an unhealthy mindset. I’d rather be despised for my character than liked for my lack of it.
